he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
