K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
be right there i have to get my cape
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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