he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize