If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
