He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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