i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
