Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
