How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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