anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
