Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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