There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
