Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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