my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
