I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
