Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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