I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
