one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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