In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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