You're so nebulous sometimes
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
