Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
