but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
