Nicole vs. Life
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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