also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
