glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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