How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
