just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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