did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
