We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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