ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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