I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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