I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
