There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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