i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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