apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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