his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
