In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
