There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
