Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
