I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
