We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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