how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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