ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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