So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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