I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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