Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
