there's paper in my vomit.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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