I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
