There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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