Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
