she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
