We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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