Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
