I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
