when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
