...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
