I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
