im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
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Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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