Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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