don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
