he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
