wakey wakey hands off snakey
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
