Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
only you would photoshop your dick
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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