Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
